Sunday, 29 January 2006
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It's been a long time since October....
Hello again;
I've changed my photo from that of me with my mother on her 80th (taken March 2005). This photo was taken by my son, Jeremy, who has shared his web site with you. Since I'm his mom, I shall share it again: www.jeremyveverka.com. If you're like me, you're anxious to see more photos published to his web site. Did I mention I think he's terrific. Of course, when he reads this, he will be embarrassed and say something to me like "Mish, you're being gay."
My sons started calling me Mish when they were very young and their dad has enjoyed the sweet nickname of Dish. Corny, perhaps, but I love it. When the boys were in their teens, sometimes their friends would refer to me as Mish, which totally delighted me.
Jeremy has been staying with me here in Florida since September and is doing wonderful things with his photography. I see "photo journalist" on the horizon. His brother is completing a Masters and then is interested in a special program which provides intensive study of Mandarin.
I'm a fortunate mom in that both my children are extremely interesting people and, perhaps more importantly, interested in expanding their experience of peoples, cultures, and the world beyond that which is limited by the driving distance from one town to the next. Whether it be through books, conversations, contemplation and travel their experience broadens and they are engaged in life and the living of it. I'm so very happy for that and it's of their own making.
I send special greetings to those of you who have commmented upon my first entry and a special hug to "divinity487". I am so impressed with the thoughtfulness and insight shared by a couple of you especially: "thedesireof themothforthe star" and "sixpennyworth". "...Desire..." - what an incredible writer of prose. You're clearly a sensitive person for whom touching people is essential for you. Thank you for your words and feelings.
My life is fairly mundane, yet complex. But, complexity can be wonderful if you have the guts for it and can learn from it and put it to good use. The cliche of "life is a journey" is something that resonates for me. It's the journey that one makes, not the destination, that defines a person. So, for now, here's to good journeys.
Mish
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Comments (9)
Don't feel guilty - heavens no. We left our moms, too - and quite happily I might add. I thought things would be different with my own children, but that was just plain unrealistic. That's not how it goes. Best case scenario, kids need to leave home and they need separation to do so - both physically and emotionally. It's hard on both ends - guilt for the kids and the "empty nest" syndrome for parents. Oh, and by the way, it's not just reserved for moms. Dads feel it too, often, it's just shown differently if at all. I miss my kids terribly when they're away, mostly the day to day stuff that I used to enjoy. But, now, when they're with me, it's rare to have the same type of closeness, primarily because they need their own space and privacy from their parent(s). Once in a while I may have that rare time with one of them when they talk openly to me about something they're doing, thinking or feeling. I love it when it happens and it reminds me that that can still happen - it's just now that it's more on their terms and when the mood is right and the subject matter appropriate to share with one's parent without feeling that said parent may judge in some way or make assumptions or misinterpret. Tough balance sometimes. The hard thing for me is that I have to remind myself that just because they're not "shairing" or talking to me about the personal details of their lives means that they love me less than they did. I just need to learn how to redefine how I relate to them. I need a good, non-christian book on the subject to give me some pointers and to support my own feelings of loss and replace them with something else.
Couldn't sleep, worrying about things not working in the house, like plumbing. Living in a hurricane prone environment, and wishing I could afford to pack it in tomorrow and just move to some place that fed my soul. Florida is not for me. This, too, I shall work out in time.
Mish
Welcome back, Mish :) Thank you for your words. You remind me so much of my own mom somehow...your hopes, your concerns, and especially your relationship with your sons...it's a little uncanny. And yet, it's oddly comforting to know that even halfway across the world there are people feeling the same way / worrying about the same things...makes one feel a little less neurotic, I suppose ;)
That's a lovely picture of you. Jeremy certainly is talented. I love the photographs on his site and am waiting eagerly for more. I think photo journalist is definitely on the cards :) My own 'secret' dream is to be a travel writer...but that seems a little unrealistic at this point...too amorphous a dream and not enough courage, I'm afraid. Maybe I'll get around to it eventually...like you said...life's a journey, and if I'm lucky, that might be one of my stops. Till then...'To good journeys' :)
Hi, Mish. Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you liked my post :)
I am a student - completing my Masters. Right now I'm in the process - well, in the final stages of writing a dissertation. It's slow, painstaking work sometimes and there are days when you just want to scream with the pressure - the poem was about one of those days. I must confess that I didn't intend it to be a poem when I started out - just wanted to put down how I was feeling - but I suppose it turned out to be one anyway...
There, I hope that's sated your curiosity for a while at least :)
I just read your other comment on my site. 'Writer is what you are...' Mish, you're wonderful for my ego! :) But you're right, I do have to make a living and writing being the fickle mistress that she is, I've settled on my other passion - Biology.
Thanks, Mish. It's funny you should mention happiness attracting happiness, because this time around it does seem to be :)
Hope all's well.